He said he needed a JOB.
His institute thought of downsizing and his department too had no enrollment this year.
He FEARED; he would be asked to leave. He was married since one and half years and has got bills to pay! He asked me to help him out in his job search.
I said to him that I am not into HR but yet extended my hand to help him. He sounded so desperate and needy, I immediately contacted 15 best colleges. Only 6 of them had courtesy to reply back; but 1 responded asking me to send the guy to her office with his resume. She was the HOD of a well-known Institute in that state.
Next day, he went to the college to meet this HOD along with his resume. She examined his resume, asked couple of questions and told him that she would get back to him in some days.
I remember the HOD telling me currently there are no vacancies in her insitute but she will be able to send his resume to other college in another state and talk to them after some days, since that week had many festive holidays.
She further said to wait for 2 weeks for the outcome. So, I waited. I thought he was waiting too.
Just a week had gone by, this guy contacts me again. I pondered he may have some good news to tell me that he has been called for an interview or so. But, no! He sounded frustrated insisting me to send his resume only where there is SCOPE. I said if we do not ask, how will we know there is.
I knew I had to cut him here to keep going like this. So, I asked him to remember when he had no interviews or references the first day when he called me. And, now, at-least he has his resume floating across somewhere. His real job search has just started. I said job search is not easy, to have HOPE! He unwillingly agreed that at least some initiation has started and then he argued SELF-DOUBTING his own capabilities.
He went on and on about his struggles and how his fear of losing his job has made him desperate and needy. I noticed this too when I was suggesting that he could do part-time teaching jobs without quitting his existing job. This should not be so hard, because by his profession he was a lecturer. And, by all means, students are always looking for personal coaching or a tutor in order to excel in their academic papers.
I could not buy in when he said he got no reply from tuition centers. I hinted at him saying he could start his own private tuition where the students come to his place and he could teach them going nowhere far.
This seemed so doable taking tuition at first with just 1-2 students and then tell these students to get their classmates or anyone they know and then go on increasing the number into a considerable batch size.
To him, this idea was just not exciting claiming that he can’t find any students to tutor.
That is when I also noticed he gave up on his search for job before even starting it.
Finally, I told him to pursue his PhD, I knew some contacts who could guide him. He conveniently puts the blame on his wife stating that the wife has got no interest for 9 to 5 job otherwise he would have left his job to continue studying.
I thought to myself that why a person or his spouse would not try harder as a family to use the available and doable options and generate income if he had real financial issues.
Secondly, if he had so much financial issues as he emphasized then he would have been ready to do any odd job to sustain himself and his wife. In this case, he was not even ready for the options.
His existing situation started to unfold before me with my simple suggestion that his wife should look for job before his fear of loosing the job becomes reality.
Now, he tells me that his wife runs a small business. I felt strange about his approach when his family earned some kind of income, why was he making fuss about loosing his job as if that was the only source of income. Even if it is, then why not do odd jobs before he finds his dream job?!
The answer is simple – FEAR. He was having fear of losing the job, when he was not even hinted by the Institute to leave the job and go. If he loses his job, he would not be able to pay the bills, provide for his family and somewhere he was just portraying himself as the only victim in his family that his spouse won’t just help him.
I stopped comforting him. This is where I decided to shake him up a bit with some confrontation and asked, “the HOD, whom you met, do you know her story?”
He says no.
I tell him, “she is taking care of her son while being married to a man having psychological problems. He is incapable of earning. And, whatever she earns, the expenses eat more than half of her income. She cuts down her expenses, tries to save money from yearly increment and the bonus. All this while she is going through her troubles, instead of shying away, she agreed to help you! How do you feel now after listening to this! Do you think you are that helpless?”
The faculty thanked me saying he will continue his job search with patience, courage and determination. A difference in APPROACH is needed to favor the result than desperation.
Few weeks later, he calls and says, he has got a job!
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